


More Than Alright

by hunters_retreat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Incest, M/M, Slash started it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-03
Updated: 2009-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 17:15:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5342057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was sick.  Sick like, check yourself into the nut house kind of sick.  Sick like, bring his father out of his grave sick.  Sick like … Dean shook his head, letting the hot water wash over him.  It didn’t help.  It was sick, just like Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Alright

**Author's Note:**

>  I swear I had no intention of writing a 'hey!  We've been slashed!  That's hot!  Let's do it" story.  I certainly never intended to write an angsty version.  However.  There are intentions.  And there is [](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/profile)[comment_fic](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/) .  And we all know by now that I am [](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/profile)[comment_fic](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/) 's unfaithful little whore.  Hope you enjoy :P  Oh.. the prompt was Sam/Dean, sam - slash- dean from 4x18. 

 

  
It was sick.  Sick like, check yourself into the nut house kind of sick.  Sick like, bring his father out of his grave sick.  Sick like … Dean shook his head, letting the hot water wash over him.  It didn’t help.  It was sick, just like Dean.  It’d started when Sam was sixteen, the desire to press his fingers into those hips, to bite the soft flesh of his neck, to lick ever bit of skin and push into that young body. 

 

 

He’d learned to keep his distance.  If Sam or Dad had ever figured out what he was thinking and feeling back then they’d never said anything.  It’d passed in a way, the intensity of it had disappeared and it’d just become a part of him, shut back and repressed along with all the other things he’d always wanted and never got to have.

 

 

At least, it had until he’d come back from Hell.  The first time he saw his brother, in that ratty motel room with Ruby half dressed, he’d wanted to press him into the wall.  That question, that… are you together had been the only thing to stop him because it brought him back to who he was and where they were, and hello!  That’s your brother you want to nail into the wall.

 

 

He’d done most of the reading of those Supernatural books to make sure that none of his inappropriate thoughts had shown up, but he was safe on that account.  Sam finding those sites though?  The things they wrote about him?  The things they had him doing to Sam?  He knew Sam was surprised by it, but Dean’s denial was so ingrained, his response so automatic that his brother had watched him closely ever since.

 

 

He leaned forward, resting his head against the cool tiles.  The thought of Sam watching him, of doing what he wanted, of what those people said… he wrapped his hand around his cock and sighed as he imagined the soft click of the bathroom door, the feel of cold air from the motel seeping into his warm cocoon, the idea of Sam standing on the other side of the shower door, watching him fist himself.  It was better than porn and even if he knew in reality Sam would never be turned on by it, his fantasy of Sam was more lenient. 

 

 

He felt the cold air again, but his hand was pumping long and hard over his cock and suddenly he was coming, Sam’s name quietly spilling from his lips.

 

 

He felt a little sick for what he did, a little relief from the pressure that had been building, but mostly he was just tired now.  He reached out to open the shower door and stopped as he looked out to find Sam leaning against the wall and watching him. 

 

 

He opened his mouth to try to say something, anything, but nothing would come out.  He had no way to apologize for what Sam had just witnessed, and the paleness in his brother’s face showed him that yeah Sam had seen, and heard, it all. 

 

 

“Dean…”  Sam’s voice was deep and dark and it tickled somewhere in the depths of him. 

 

 

“Sam.”  He managed to croak out as he reached for a towel.  He stepped out of the shower then and wrapped it around his waist, trying to keep from having to look Sam in the eyes.  He looked at himself in the mirror and it was then that Sam moved, pushed against his back and looked at him through the mirror.  Sam pushed again, pushed until Dean’s hips were against the sink and he could feel the hard bulge that pressed into him from behind.  Sam’s eyes held him still as his hand pulled at Dean’s towel, letting it drop to the floor. 

 

 

Sam leaned forward, his lips brushing Dean’s ear.  “Am I good, in that head of yours?”  His eyes never strayed from Dean’s as he licked a small path behind his ear.  “Gonna show you how good you are in mine.”

 

 

“Sam … you don’t want this.”  


Sam licked at the small of his neck and then bit into it.  “I thought I could have normal Dean.  It was the consolation I gave myself because I knew I couldn’t have you.”

 

 

He wanted to say no, wanted to tell Sam he didn’t need this, he didn’t want to be this sick, but Sam’s hand was trailing down his hips and over his ass.  When he pushed a spit slicked finger inside of him all he could do was moan, Sam never letting him take his eyes off his reflection.

 

 

“So tight.  Gonna feel so good when I spread you out and fuck you deep.”

 

 

“Jesus Sammy…”

 

 

A second finger pressed into him and Dean pushed back into the sensation, into Sam and this thing he’d been denying for so long.  Sam bit into his shoulder as he added a third finger and by then Dean was rock hard again. 

 

 

“Gonna fuck me against a bathroom sink?”  Dean asked, part of him wanted Sam to say yes and the rest knew he was trying to shock his brother out of it. 

 

 

He felt Sam’s fingers pull out of his body and he was jerked around, Sam pulling him hard into his chest and not letting go as he walked them out of the bathroom and pushed Dean down onto the bed. 

 

 

Sam kept eye contact as he unbuttoned his shirt, letting it fall to the floor where his jeans quickly followed.  He wanted to look, wanted to take in Sam’s naked form, wanted to run and never look back, but he couldn’t do anything more than watch Sam as he grabbed what they needed from his bag and fell onto his knees on the bed.  He rolled a condom on and slicked himself up, then leaned over Dean. 

 

 

It was too intimate, too much and he couldn’t pull his eyes away from Sam’s so he decided it would be better to just turn over.  He wouldn’t stop this, couldn’t now that Sam had him in bed, hadn’t been able to since he pushed inside him with his fingers and he’d finally pushed back.  The mirror had been easier though.  It was less personal, less involved and the idea of Sam pushed inside his body as he watched was just too much. 

 

 

He started to turn but Sam pushed him back down.  “No.”  He said firmly.  “Gonna watch you Dean.  Gonna see what you look like when I fuck you, when I make you come.”

 

 

Dean gripped Sam’s arms, tight enough to bruise but then Sam was pressing against him, splitting him open.  He took a deep breath, trying to relax, trying to let his brother in.  There was no one he trusted more and no one he had ever wanted more.  He felt Sam filling him, felt his world constrict to nothing more than Sam inside him and above him and all around him, eyes boring into him. 

 

 

Sam reached between them as he pushed, wrapped his fingers around Dean’s cock for the first time and he forgot everything else but that as his hips shifted up, pumping into Sam’s fist. 

 

 

“Yeah Dean, fuck yourself on me.”  Sam said, his hips beginning to piston in and out of Dean.  He pushed his hips up into Sam’s hand, then back against his cock and it was almost too much sensation. 

 

 

“So fucking beautiful Dean, wanted this for so damn long but knew you wouldn’t… knew you’d never…  Fuck, never wanna stop, gonna keep you like this all night, on edge and begging for me.”

 

 

“Sam…”  He moaned, it was a plea and request and a need and begging all in one word, in one name that Sam knew well enough to understand.  Dean was breaking under the pressure of his brother’s eyes and when Sam hit his prostate he screamed Sam’s name again.

 

 

Sam shifted until he was hitting it over and over again, his hand moving over Dean’s cock and pumping him with the same sure motions.  When Sam leaned close, his lips a breath away from Dean’s he licked his lips.  “Come for me Dean.  Come all over my hand.  Wanna see your cock dripping for me.” 

 

 

And he did, as hard as he ever had just because Sam told him to.  Then Sam was moaning and swearing and he knew from the stuttered hips and the look in Sam’s eyes that he was coming inside him and all Dean could do was hold on for the ride.

 

 

It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling when Sam slid out of him, but then Sam was moving back into the bathroom and for the first time since this started Dean wasn’t staring into his brother’s eyes and he felt the guilt and shame and the pure wrongness of it hit him again.  He’s sick.  He’s twisted.  And he’s just been fucked by his brother who won’t look him in the eye now.

 

 

He turned onto his side and flinched when he felt the soft wet cloth across his skin.  “Shhh…” Sam said, his hands soothing the warm cloth over his ass and his cock, swiping across his stomach and the come drying there. 

 

 

He felt Sam sitting on the edge of the bed, then after a moment’s hesitation, Sam slid into bed behind him, wrapping an arm around Dean’s waist.  “Dean …” 

 

 

Dean pulled away, not knowing what to do or say in the end.  He didn’t want to hurt Sam, but at the same time, he didn’t think he would survive it when Sam told him it was a mistake or that it was just this one time.  As much as Dean wanted to think he could keep this fantasy of his in check, having tasted Sam once he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to keep it quiet again.

 

 

Sam pulled him, manhandling him when he didn’t go willingly, until he was lying on his back.  Sam sat up, leaning on one elbow to look down at him, only Dean refused to meet his eyes this time. 

 

 

“Dean … it’s not …”

 

 

“Don’t Sam.”  Dean said before Sam could say it.  “Whatever this was, it just … done.”

 

 

“No.  No it’s not Dean.  Not even close.”  Sam took his face in one hand and forced him to look up.  When he did, Sam leaned in slow enough that Dean could pull away if he wanted to. 

 

 

When Sam’s lips brushed his in the first kiss he wanted to pull away but he wasn’t strong enough to resist.  When Sam licked at the seams of his mouth he opened and Sam’s tongue slid in, tasting him like he didn’t know what it felt like to be inside him.  Dean moaned and felt his arms wrapping around Sam, pulling him closer without meaning to. 

 

 

When Sam pulled back from the kiss it was just to drop his forehead to Dean’s.  “Not letting you back out of this now Dean.  I’ve been waiting too long to do this.  Not letting you say it’s done when I know you want this as much as me.”

 

 

Dean nodded.  “Alright Sammy.  Alright.”

 

 

He didn’t feel any better about what he was doing.  It was sick.  It was incest, illegal and immoral and nothing good could come of it.  But they weren’t everyone else.  They didn’t have anyone else, would never have anyone else, even if they managed to make it through the end of days.  It didn’t make it alright.  But it made things bareable.  And with Sam wrapped tightly around him, bearable seemed more than alright.

 


End file.
